Legal Humor

Accounting and taxes are not usually comical, but I feel that we can all use a good laugh.  With that in mind please enjoy the story below.

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his  first witness to the  stand, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"She  responded, "Why, yes I do  know  you, Mr. Williams. I've know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to  me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind  their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to  realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit  paper pusher. Yes, I know you.

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do,  he pointed  across the room and asked, "Mrs.Jones do you know the defense  attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.  He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.  He can't build  a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one  of the worst in the entire state.  Not to mention he cheated on his wife  with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know  him."

The  defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors   to approach the  bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she  knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in  jail for  contempt."