Dealing with the CRA – OMG ,or (%$#@&*%^%$#@$%^%$^^)

For those of you who have ever wondered why I (and most accountants) keep their hair so short it is really a matter of hair preservation.  If my hair was longer I would have pulled it all out from sheer frustration.  Frustration with what you ask?  Really?  You have to ask?  Frustration from dealing with the *&^%$#@^&*%$@#  CRA of course.  I have tried alcohol, which helps a little, but at the end of the day I have found a punching bag and a 4 mile run to be way more effective.

“Yeah it’s F-ing story time again!!”.  So I submitted an authorization form for a new client who was way behind (read waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy behind) on his taxes.  When I went to access the information I couldn’t, so I called the CRA to ask WTF.  Turns out the answer just lead to another question from me.  The new question was AYFKM (Are You F-ing Kidding Me)?

Turns out some genius (yes sarcasm) decided that since the client was so far behind the CRA were not sure where he lived, so they could not process the form (which was signed by the client) I had sent in.  This brought on another question which was AYFS (Are You F-ing Serious)?  Turns out they were and are.  Given that I worked at the CRA for 15 years I found this abso-fucking-lutely redonkulous.  I am still steaming.  They then informed me that the client would have to phone in and confirm their address.

OK so I got the client to call and make everything fixy-fixy.  So I called back to ask if they could update the system now.  Guess what?  Come on guess.  Yup they told me they still had the form, but I would have to resubmit it because they can’t give online access over the phone.  WTF?  AYFKM?  You have the F-ing form in your hand and you can’t just give it to someone to F-ing  process?  I have to admit I looked like one of those cartoon characters with a red face and steam coming out of their ears.  I said thank you through clenched teeth (my dentist can now put his kid through university) and hung up.

After hanging up I threw a Yosemite Sam / Eric Cartman (South Park) temper tantrum (glad the kids weren’t around for that one) punched and kicked the punching bag a little and went for a run while swearing the whole time.  After an hour and a shower I re-submitted the form.  Yes I was still pissed.  What good is the F-ing form if you are going to change the damn rules all the time without telling anyone?  Deep breath (in, out, in, out, in, out…. Count to 10. One F-ing Steamboat, two F-ing Steamboats,…, Nope still pissed off).

Anyway, the next time you feel yourself getting pissed off at the CRA remember I have to deal with them on an almost daily basis.  You have it easy, and I have short hair.